Boy was I defeated yesterday. Seemed the world was against me. I managed to upset a newly pregnant friend, not feed my 2 year old lunch and I think I missed taking a shower (does it matter that I can't remember!?). These are the days that make me wonder if I am made to be a stay at home mom. Such pressure to perform perfectly all the time. I have always been hard on myself and last night was no exception as I reviewed my 'accomplishments' of the day! I even texted with a friend last night about the cost of babysitters and when she asked me 'how much have you been paying' I think I had an internal meltdown because I have never had a babysitter. When I worked we had a nanny at the house since I worked from home and my mom occasionally comes to town and has watched my 2 year old, but honestly I could probably count on both hands how many times I have actually been apart from my 2 year old. I am feeling like a break is needed, although currently don't see one coming any time soon.
So today will be about picking up the pieces, working on dusting myself off and then trying to find something for ME...not my family or my kids or my hubby...just me! Maybe I will get to take a shower by myself or shave my legs without an audience and honestly that will probably be it! Then I will turn to dinner duties...actually entertaining the idea of trying to make homemade pizza dough. Mommy duty takes priority and I will just pull up my big girl panties and move on. While I feel alone in this, I know there must be other mommies out there in the same exact spot. Grateful these days aren't everyday.
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